you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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