yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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