I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
