Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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