her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize