my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
