: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
