Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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