I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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