Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
