Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
id be glad to
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
