i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
