i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
