she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
