Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Randomize
