I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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