Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
