He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
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