Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
There r osticjed everywhere
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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