it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
