Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
