Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
