I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
