will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
