She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
PANTIES FOUND
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