I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
