she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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