plz talk dirty to me
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
