Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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