so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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