He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize