if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
