can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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