Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
