Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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