lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She bit a glass in half.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
