Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
