I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
