puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
So squirting runs in the family.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize