i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
