I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
