he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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