he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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