OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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