therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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