The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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