thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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