I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
