these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
