I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
my god I love twenty year old dicks
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
