A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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