how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
