The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The air was thick with penises
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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