as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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