can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
