she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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