if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize