happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
