I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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