Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize