ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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