used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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