i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize