I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
